Sunday, May 16, 2010

Needle Flash Fiction Challenge

Here's my entry in the contest.

TILL DEATH...

I’m home, my sweet. Are you awake? I’m sorry to be so late, but I had some extra forms to take care of at work. I can make it up to you though. I brought a surprise for you. I’m getting it ready and I’ll bring it down with me. Can you guess what it is? No? Alright, I’ll tell you. It’s a vanilla shake with a touch of cinnamon. You love those. I’m putting it in a fresh IV bag for you. Now, once I hook this one up, it should provide quite a pleasant sensation, you think?

Oh my. The bulb’s flickering on the basement stairs again. I really have to remember to change that. I know how being in the dark frightens you. I do need to start turning off all the lights at night though so you can get some good rest. Besides, keeping the basement lights on all the time might attract some unwanted attention. You do remember, I’m sure, how nosy some of our neighbors can be.

Darling one, you sewed the button on my work shirt just as I had asked you. You are such a dear. I know it can be difficult, what with the pole, the IV needle and the restraints. But you do know they’re all necessary, don’t you, my love? I can’t have you wandering off again. It was such a terrible ordeal finding you this last time. You remember. You had run off with that handyman I hired, telling him such awful things about me. You even told some of the neighbors terrible stories about how I treated you.

One good thing did come out of all that though. Once those busybodies in our cove found out you took off with that nasty man, they felt ever so sorry for me. Why, the ladies brought me delicious casseroles and their husbands helped me to tend our yard. You know, our garden’s doing really well now too since I buried your boyfriend in it. At least he turned out to be good for something, huh? No one saw us arrive when I brought you back, so you’re completely safe down here. You won’t ever be bothered.

Say, how does that shake taste? Can you actually taste it, or do you just kind of feel it?

Oh, my pet, don’t you cry. I know you can’t answer me, but it’s alright. The sutures sealing your lips together are almost totally healed now. Now, don’t you start fussing again. You have to admit that I was within my rights when I stitched them in, what with you speaking so poorly of me to everyone you knew and met. That was really quite disrespectful, and you know how strongly I feel about not being respected.

Wow. It’s getting so late. Time certainly does fly when I’m with the love of my life. I’ll let the shake keep dripping for awhile. It’s almost totally melted now and should be flowing really smoothly. I’ll tell you what. I’m going to leave the lights on down here for, say, another half hour so you can see well enough to mend the cuff on my blue shirt. I was planning to wear that to work in the morning, but see how the cuff is beginning to fray? It is in desperate need of your magic touch. I’ll change that bulb on the stairs as well to give you a bit more light while you sew. I wouldn’t want you to have an accident with the needle. That would be very painful.

When I go up, I’m going to watch the news before bed. I won’t be back down tonight, so have loads of sweet dreams, love. Just always remember, my angel, what I told you on the day we first met. I said, from this moment forward, you will be mine. Only. Mine. For always.
Remember also, heart of my heart, when I said it,
I meant it.
Too.

21 comments:

  1. And they say we guys are afraid of long term commitment. Seems to me he's committed to keeping her commited big time! Truely dark, depraved and delicious. Enjoyed it a bunch! Thanks.
    AJ

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  2. Chiller!!

    I like the way the backstory is woven in, regarding the previous escape attempt. And lots of references to the 'use' of a needle before the actual word appears - very cleverly leading the reader on expectantly.

    It's a goodie, Joyce! Good luck!

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  3. A truly romantic tale. Love it.

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  4. Joyce,

    First of all, thanks for the nice comments about my story. I read them this morning and needed something like that.

    I loved your story as well...absolutely eerie. The voice was incredible, as was the flow. The little hints of what was truly going on, just a sentence here and there, made this all the more unsettling because it made your narrator all the more real, all the more like that nice little lady that lives a block away from me...

    My favorite line? "Why, the ladies brought me delicious casseroles and their husbands helped me to tend our yard."

    Wonderful stuff altogether.

    Ray

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  5. WHOA! That was awesome. The thing that i LOVE about reading one of yr stories is that they ALWAYS manage to suprise me in some way. Every. Single. Time. Excellent work.

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  7. Very "chilling," Joyce! You've packed quite a story in a flash. Nice going!

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  8. fun read -- disturbing -- but fun

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  9. Great detail and very real Joyce. This is a really good story,told intimately and with real menace.

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  10. AJ, Thanks. Oh, he's definitely in for the long haul. Glad you enjoyed it!

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  11. Sue, Thanks so much. I was trying to be a bit sneaky with the needle thing. Glad you liked it.

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  12. JR, Thanks a ton. And they say romance is dead...

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  13. Ray, Loved your story! Glad you enjoyed mine. I appreciate your comments, especially about it being 'unsettling' and having a sense of realism. Reminds you of someone you know? Now, that's unsettling!

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  14. Matthew, Thanks. Glad I caught you off guard. Those are the most fun to write--AND read!

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  15. Kathleen, Thanks much. Love to give my readers a shudder--or three, or...

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  16. Chad, Thanks so much. You see? Disturbing CAN be fun!

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  17. Richard, Thanks. I appreciate your comments, in particular the one about it being told with 'real menace'. Goal achieved!

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  18. Paul, Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I really enjoyed writing this one.

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  19. That certainly was a cracker Joyce. Chilling and very well written. Well done.

    I've been busy for a while with work, so I'm just catching up with stuff. :-)

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  20. David, Catching up is currently my middle name! Glad you liked this one. It gave me a chill. I love when that happens!

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