Thursday, May 5, 2011

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY, CYCLE 29: SIXES AND SEVENS

The prompt this time was to find the title for our story. We were to find one beginning with the letter “s” at Brewer’s Phrase and Fable online at http://www.bibliomania.com/2/3/255/1184. “Sixes and sevens” stood out for me, and the definition given was when it was used concerning people, it referred to disagreement or hostility. Between the brothers in my story, I do believe it’s safe to say there’s more than a little of both. The genre was open, and the word count was to be 1,000 or less. Please enjoy.

SIXES AND SEVENS

“You’re an idiot, Mikey.” George Studarsky was anxious to get away from the prison and to the rooming house where the Warden had arranged for them to stay so he could start planning their next score. This was going to get him and his dumb-ass brother into the big-time. He hated these penny-ante gigs that netted them nothing and got them busted. That was all Mikey’s fault though.

Mikey was family, and George had promised their mom on her deathbed that he would look after him since he was slower in the head than most, but that promise was getting harder to keep with each passing day. George was never able to find out where Mikey got his tips, but they had all sounded pretty doable. Problem was, they’d get in, and it would all go to Hell in a quick minute because there was always one detail Mikey forgot to mention. They’d get nabbed, do a short stretch in the joint, get out early since they’re weren’t real badasses, Mikey would get another tip, and the cycle would continue.

George decided to get off that merry-go-round and do it right for once. This time, he got the tip from a couple of guards. They were both stupid as the day is long, and hadn’t known George was going to be released soon, so what difference did it make if he heard them talking. They were planning to sign-on to make a few extra bucks when a large amount of cash was going to be moved. George paid close attention to where the money was being moved to, and when. Details. Important ones.

George’s feet hurt. You’d think the fucking prison could supply a bus ticket to get them into town. Pointing him and Mikey to which road to start walking on wasn’t his idea of rehabilitation. Mikey had been so quiet and George knew why. He always got that way when he was trying to figure out how to present one of his mysterious tips. Mikey always wanted to make sure he remembered everything so he and his brother wouldn’t end up behind bars. Mikey hoped this time he’d get it right.

They got to the town called Anderton and decided they’d grab a bite. Sally’s Sandwich Haven sounded about right, and over their burgers, Mikey decided it was time.

“Georgie, I heard these guys talking in the yard about a gas station here that keeps cartons of smokes in the back and doesn’t put their money in the bank every day. We could take the cigs and cash and steal a car and leave. I’m not sure of the name, but if I look in the phone book…”

George couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Mikey’s tip pool had hit rock bottom.

“Mikey,” George began, “ a job like that would be a waste of time and get us busted for sure. Everybody knows how stupid you are and that you’ll believe anything, and they’re right. Forget gas stations. I’ve got something bigger.

Some bank needs repair and the money’s being moved to another on First Street temporarily. It’s all hush-hush since the move is to one that doesn’t normally hold much. It’s scheduled for 2:00 am and at 2:15, we’ll be in there helping ourselves.

You get the address. Joints like that have nickel and dime alarms and cheap locks on their safes. We’ll already have a car out there and be in and out in fifteen tops. You just do what I tell you , and nothing will go wrong. ‘kay?”

“Got it, Georgie,” Mikey felt better. He wasn’t sure he’d remembered everything about the gas station thing. He didn’t want to make another boo-boo.

* * * * *

As George and Mikey were being booked into the Anderton County Jail at 2:45 am, all the cops were still laughing.

“Great job, guys,” one of them said. “breaking into an empty bank. What were you going to steal? Pencils from the teller stations?” He doubled over with laughter as he escorted the brothers to a holding cell. They’d go before the judge at 9:00.

“Georgie?” Mikey said.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mikey.” George was pissed. “Who knew some jerk was going to be out walking his damn dog at 2:20 in the morning by the bank in the mini-mall. I told you not to wave your flashlight around. We may as well have been shooting off fireworks in there.”

“Yeah, but Georgie,” Mikey continued, “the safe was wide open and there was no money in it. I wonder why.”

“I’ll tell you why,” George said. “Those guards were playing me and I’ll get them for it. We’re going to be locked up at Stilton again and I’ll take care of all of them. Saying there was going to be a ton of cash in the First Street Bank and it would be easy pickings and…”

“What?” Mikey asked. “Georgie, did you say the guards said the money would be in the First Street Bank?”

“Yeah,” Georgie pulled the blanket around him. Why did they always keep the thermostat down so low in these small town jails. “Some bank on First Street, the First Street bank, what the fuck difference does it make? We got suckered. That’s what matters.”

“You know what, Georgie,” Mikey felt bad. “It kind of does make a difference. When we were in the room, I was looking in the phone book to get the address of the one on First Street.”

“So?” George wished he had a smoke. Should have just gone with Mikey’s gas station job.

“Well,” Mikey hesitated. “maybe I should have told you about this at the room. Before I found Star National on First Street and Cooper, I saw there was a First Street Bank on the corner of 18th and Green. Do you think maybe that’s the one where they put all that money, Georgie? Did I make another boo-boo?”

13 comments:

  1. I love the humour in this. It is tightly structured from the word go and has great realistic dialogue throughout. Good take on the prompt. Great ending.

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  2. Richard, So glad you enjoyed this. I decided to have a bit of fun with this one. This was a great prompt. Find your title, then build a story around it. Neat challenge.

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  3. Great story, Joyce... I really love the humor in it, and the dialogue is perfect! I love it when characters sound like ordinary people... these brothers are so believable too!

    Sixes and Sevens was one of the phrases I was considering, but couldn't really come up with anything I liked... I'm glad I left it... you did a smashing job!!

    And, the ending... perfect!

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  4. This was really fun to read! The dialogue feels rvery natural, and I could quite palpably feel Mikey's confusion. Delightful!

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  5. Week after week, you make it look so smooth and effortless. Once again, you've nailed it dear! I love the language and dialog. Bravo!

    Doc

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  6. Very funny, sorry I'm late getting here and reading your story.

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  7. Great story and very funny, sorry it took so long to read your story. I'm way behind on everything.

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  8. Lol! They're both slow, Mikey may be a little behind, however, George keeps relying on Mikey for important details. Great story!

    L Turner

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  9. Veronica, Thanks for your comments. Glad you enjoyed this. I wanted these characters to be genuine and sort of likeable too.

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  10. Barbara, Thanks. Glad you liked it. I liked these guys a lot and I wanted my readers to like them too!

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  11. Doc, Thanks for your comments. So glad you enjoyed this. You gotta love these two, right?

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  12. Beach, Thanks for your comments. Glad you enjoyed this. I tried to make it light and funny, as life can be if we're lucky enough!

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  13. L, Glad you liked it. Maybe George should try to learn from past mistakes, right?

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