FLASH FICTION FRIDAY, CYCLE 75: SOMETHING WICKED

Following last week's fairy tale theme, this week, we were to take a typical fairy tale villain or monster and make them our protagonist.  Use 'something wicked this way comes' as a line in the story.  The genre was to be fairy tale/mixed, with a 1200 work max.  I had a lot of fun with this week's prompt.  Please enjoy.


TALK ISN'T CHEAP

“Melisande, now, what did we say about losing your temper?  It doesn’t resolve issues and makes you feel even worse.”

“Yes, I know, but did you hear what I just said?  I’m accustomed to putting up with a lot of crap from the village brats, but this?  This is just too much.”

“Just because they make nasty remarks when you walk by is no reason to get yourself all upset.  After all, haven’t we already gone over the ‘sticks and stones…’ thing?”

“We certainly have.  But you’re not listening to me.  While they’re saying ‘something wicked this way comes’, they’re tossing sticks and stones at me at the same time.  I’m telling you, it’s this new generation.  They have no respect for their elders.

In the old days, it was no biggie to snatch up a baby or two, pop them in the slow cooker to simmer while you went out to earn a few bucks casting some spells.  Now, everything has to be done legit.  You have to make reservations at the nurseries months in advance.  That’s just nasty.  I mean, taking pot luck like that.  I like to take a look at what I’m getting.

Even bringing in an ugly stepsister to pick up about the place has gone to Hell.  Can’t just place a few charms around their bed while they’re sleeping and then enchant them to believe that’s what they were born to do.  Oh no.  You have to post advertisements in the Square.  And, then there’s the benefits package…”

“Melisande, I know that times have changed, but we need to learn how to change with them.  Good, bad or indifferent, we have to live in the now.  I’m not going to lie to you though; it’s not an easy task.  It takes hard work, but I know you have the inner strength to accomplish any changes that may be required.  Family support is always important too.  Speaking of family, how’s Rapunzel doing these days?”

“That little tramp?  When I was out watering my herb garden this morning, another one of her princes was sliding down her hair to the street.”

“A prince?  But that’s good news, isn’t it?  Perhaps if she marries well, you can stop working so hard.”

“Yeah, right.  Let’s get real here.  She’s got men coming and going at all hours of the day and night.  And, of course, they’re all princes.  I don’t even want to get in there to clean anymore.  She’s such a nasty…”

“Now, Melisande, you’re the one who took her from your neighbors and put her up in that tower to raise her as your own.  Perhaps you should have considered the fact that she would grow up someday.”

“Her old man was robbing my garden blind and I couldn’t just look the other way, now, could I?  After all, I have a rep to maintain.  You let one in there, and before you know it, everybody in the neighborhood is helping themselves instead of growing their own herbs and stuff.  Then, I’ve got nothing, and if I needed to borrow a sprig of something from one of them, I can just hear them.  ‘Oh look, Miss High-And-Mighty-Enchantress needs to borrow some herbs so she can cast a spell.’  You don’t know what I have to put up with.  The stress is unbelievable.”

“I understand Rapunzel has seriously crossed a line with her behavior, but we can deal with that at another time.  Right now, I want to find out if you’ve been doing anything for yourself.  Remember when we discussed that you have a life too, and that all work and no play makes for a depressed enchantress?  Tell me where we are with your recreational activities.”

“Well, I have been making an effort in that regard, although I do feel I need to explore more options.  Let me explain.  You know Lady Tremaine?  She’s the one with the three girls, Drizella, Anastasia and Cinderella.  Lady T and I ran into each other at one of the coven reunions a few weeks ago and turns out, she’s in as deep a rut as I am.  We decided to go clubbing; you know, have a few cocktails here and there, pick up one of the out-of-work jesters and take him out by the dumpsters in back of the clubs and mug him…  Most of them still have jeweled buttons on their outfits, you know.  Afterward, we’d stop in at Rumplestiltskins’s for a quick snack.  He’s always got some legs and thighs in the oven, and he makes the best bar-b-que sauce…

Anyway, we go out a few times and all is going well, until we find out her Cinderella has snuck out and is up in the tower at my house with my Rapunzel partying until dawn with some of their ’princes’.  Now, Lady T is worried what C will bring home.  I told her just to have Dr. Know-all give her the once-over.  I told her that so far, Rapunzel’s tested clean.

She blames Rap for corrupting C, which pisses me off since she’s not exactly a prime example of mother-of-the-year.  But I digress.  Since one daughter seems to have hopped on board the tramp line, she insists on bringing the two uglies with us when we go out.  How are we supposed to have a good time and hook up with a man we can ravage with those two trolls along for the ride?  I believe there’s something Freudian going on there.”

“Perhaps Lady Tremaine is not the ideal companion for your after-hours activities, Melisande.  Let me think about this, and perhaps I can make some suggestions at our next visit.

Since our hour is about up, I want you to go back out to the waiting room and schedule your next appointment with my receptionist, and I’m going to write you a prescription for two second graders.  Fill it at Allisandro’s.  That way, you won’t have to go through all the regular channels.  They’re too big for your crock pot, but they’ll fit snugly in a large roasting pan.  I’ve found 325 degrees for a half hour per pound makes them tender and juicy.  These two are from my private stock and if wrapped up tightly, they’ll keep for at least a week in your fridge.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ray.  You are the best.  I always feel better after I’ve come to see you.  Psychiatry really is your calling.  How much do I owe you for today‘s session?”

“A couple of enchantings should cover it.  I’ve written the names of two people I want turned into slugs on this blank prescription form.

I’m glad our sessions are helping you.  Try not to let Rapunzel’s shameless lack of morality and self-respect upset you.  After all, consider the gene pool from whence she came.  Till next week…

Yvonne, since that was my last appointment of the day, I think I‘ll head out for an early dinner at…”

“Dr., I’m afraid your early dinner will have to wait.  Snow just called.  She’s in crisis and on her way over.  Those dwarves are trying on her underwear again…”